Do any of these phrases sound familiar?
Why don’t you ever help me with the children? I’ve worked all day, too—it’s your turn. I am not happy with the amount of time you’re at the office. I swear, you always talk about business and leave me out of the loop. I never know what you’re up to. Where is all our money? I thought we had XXX amount in our account? I wish you spent time with us instead of always being gone. Why don’t you…I wish you’d…”
Shamefully, at one time or another, I said every single one of these phrases. I never realized how much these statements conveyed disrespect, or how much I communicated disbelief in my husband’s abilities.
But, how do we communicate trust and respect…without becoming a door mat?
Here are ten helpful hints:
1. Choose to trust his decisions. I used to have to know all the details…now I determine to know my husband and the specifics of how I can help him. Obtaining too many details (for me) was a means of control.
2. Trust the Holy Spirit. God is a better negotiator than we could ever hope to become. As wives, we must learn the delicate balance between our incredible influence and our sinful desire to manipulate and coerce our husband’s actions.
3. Learn when to remain silent. Remember, tame your tongue. Galatians 5:15 says, “Watch out if you continually pick at one another you may end up devouring one another.” Say feelings positively rather than negatively. For example, “Why don’t you ever help me with the children?” could be better phrased—“Could you please get our son a glass of milk while I change his diaper?”
4. Never patronize or use condescending remarks demeaning your husband’s abilities or judging the intentions of his heart. Keep your heart in check. The emphasis on your words must reflect sincerity of heart.
5. Listen to your spouse with an open mind (whether you agree or not) and check for your understanding of his viewpoint. Ask yourself, what does my spouse need? How is he saying I can better support him?
6. Learn what to let go of. Don’t major on the minor stuff. In marriage, each day produces the opportunity of small offenses. A great secret of successful marriage is learning to let them go.
7. Never point out your husband’s flaws until you’ve spent a great deal of praying about it first.
8. Think about how you might respond to another man in authority over you, like your boss. Show your husband the same respect you might show your boss. Guard and choose your words carefully. Demonstrate the same control and respect you would for him, for your husband.
9. Practice what you know to do, and eventually you’ll crave and inherently do what is right.
10. Practice praise. Tell him…You know what I respect the most about you? I am so proud to call you my husband. I am so proud of how you handled that. I loved when you helped me… Thank you for being such a great friend…Zero in on what you respect about your husband and start there.
Ephesians 5:24 & 33 says—“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything… Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” NIV
Respect often equals love to our husbands. What we say and how we say it expresses trust and respect or doubt and lack of love. As we need them to demonstrate their love for us, they need us to unconditionally demonstrate our respect for them. Since I’ve practiced the ten steps listed above, I’ve enjoyed a fulfilling marriage and partnership. Hope you do too!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Eph. 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Eph. 5:22-33).
ENCOURAGE YOURSELF IN THE LORD
HE WILL GIVE YOU BEAUTY FOR ASHES. DEVI NE HEALTH. YOU HAVE POWER AND AUTHORITY. THE LATTER YEARS SHALL BE GREATER THAN THE FORMER. HE WILL PERFECT THAT WHICH CONCERNS YOU. YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE WEALTHY PLACE, IF YOU HADN'T GONE THROUGH THE FLOOD, AND THE FIRE. PSALM 66:12 WE WENT THROUGH THE FIRE AND THROUGH THE WATER: BUT THOU BROUGHT US OUT INTO A WEALTHY PLACE. ISAIAH 43:2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee .YOU HAVE MADE IT....YOU WILL MINISTER TO MANY MARRIAGES. HE SAID HE WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU. SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND ALL THESE THINGS WILL BE ADDED UNTO YOU. TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART. DO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING, IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATH. THE LORD WILL FIGHT FOR YOU YOU NEED ONLY TO BE STILL. GOD HAS NOT GIVEN YOU A SPIRIT OF FEAR BUT OF POWER AND MIGHT. Adversity is sign for the success that is about to enter your life. HE SAID IS THERE ANYTHING TOO DIFFICULT FOR HIM? THAT MOUNTAIN IN FRONT OF YOU IS NOTHING TO GOD! YEAH THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH I WILL FEAR NO EVIL FOR THOU ART WITH ME. FEAR NOT FOR I AM WITH YOU. BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. THANK YOU FOR HEALING, DELIVERANCE, PEACE, JOY, STRENGTH, FAVOR, PROTECTION, PROVISION. OH GOD PROTECT MY HEART. HELP ME OH LORD. IN JESUS NAME. OBEY GOD...RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND UNCONDITIONALLY. PUT ON LOVE EVERYDAY, LIKE YOU PUT ON YOUR CLOTHES, AND THE GARMENTS OF PRAISE. BLESS THE LORD OH MY SOUL. THANK YOU FOR DELIVERANCE. THANK YOU THAT YOU ARE WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES FOR MY FAVOR. GOD IS GREAT AND GREATLY TO BE PRAISED. THANK YOU LORD FOR ALL YOU'VE BLESSED ME WITH. MY HOME, MY HUSBAND, MY CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN, CARS, FOOD, FRIENDS, A GOOD CHURCH, HEALTH, MY LIFE. THANK YOU LORD. IT ALL BELONGS TO YOU. THE LORD GIVES AND TAKES AWAY. HELP ME TO REMEMBER IT ALL BELONGS TO YOU. GIVE ME STRENGTH OH LORD TO FOLLOW YOU. TO OBEY YOU. TO HEAR YOUR VOICE AND BE OBEDIENT. HELP ME LORD. DELIVER ME LORD. FIGHT MY ENEMIES. WHEN THE ENEMY COMES IN LIKE A FLOOD, THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD WILL RAISE UP A STANDARD AGAINST IT. I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU SAITH THE LORD. PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND GIVE YOU AN EXPECTED END. THE FLOODS WILL NOT OVER TAKE ME, AND THE FIRE WILL NOT BURN ME. HE GOES BEFORE ME AND MAKES THE CROOKED PLACES STRAIGHT. HIS WAYS ARE ABOVE OUR WAYS, AND HIS THOUGHTS ABOVE OURS. EVEN THE HAIRS OF OUR HEAD ARE NUMBERED. HE KNOWS WHEN ONE SPARROW FALLS TO THE GROUND. HOW MUCH MORE IS HE MINDFUL OF ME. HE WILL PERFECT THAT WHICH CONCERNS ME. THANK YOU FOR COMPLETE RESTORATION. RESTORATION IS BETTER THAN NEW. IT'S LIKE A CLASSIC CAR. VERY VALUABLE. GIVE ME INSTRUCTION. HELP ME TO OBEY AND DO YOUR WILL. LET YOUR WILL BE DONE. I NEED YOU. I CAN'T DO IT ALONE. HELP ME LORD. GIVE ME PEACE IN THE MIDST OF THE STORM. KEEP YOUR EYES ON JESUS SO YOU CAN WALK ON WATER. JESUS IS THE LIGHT AND MY SALVATION WHOM SHALL I FEAR? BLESS THE LORD OH MY SOUL AND ALL THAT IS WITHIN ME. BLESS HIS HOLY NAME. THE TRIAL OF YOUR FAITH IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD. THOUGH I WALK IN THE MIDST OF TROUBLE THOU WILT REVIVE ME: THOU SHALL STRETCH FORTH THINE HAND AGAINST THE WRATH OF MY ENEMIES, AND THY RIGHT HAND SHALL SAVE ME. ISAIAH 44:3 FOR I WILL POUR WATER UPON HIM THAT IS THIRSTY, AND FOODS U[PM THE DRY GROUND: I WILL POUR MY SPIRIT UPON THY SEED AND MY BLESSING UPON THINE OFFSPRING. THANK YOU LORD!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
And God Said...
If you never felt pain, then how would you know that I’m a Healer?
If you never went through difficulties, how would you know that I’m a Deliverer?
If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an overcomer?
If you never felt sadness, how would you know that I’m a Comforter?
If you never made a mistake, how would you know that I’m forgiving?
If you knew it all, how would you know that I will answer your questions?
If you never were in trouble, how would you know that I will come to your rescue?
If you never were broken, then how would you know that I can make you whole?
If you never had a problem, how would you know that I can solve them?
If you never had any suffering, then how would you know what Jesus went through?
If you never went through the fire, then how would you become pure?
If I gave you all things, how would you appreciate them?
If I never corrected you, how would you know that I love you?
If you had all power, then how would you learn to depend on me?
If your life was perfect, then what would you need Me for?
Thank you, God!
EMPOWERING CHRISTIAN WOMEN: The Respect Dare E-Course - March 2010
EMPOWERING CHRISTIAN WOMEN: The Respect Dare E-Course - March 2010: "Registration is open for The Respect Dare® e-course with author Nina Roesner! During the 9-week online course, Nina will challenge you to m..."
STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!
I AM STANDING
FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!
I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!
I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous... nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, rewrite God's word, violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!
In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.
I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.
I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.
~ Author Unknown
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